Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
