i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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