Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
