if only i could text you this smell
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
