Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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