I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
