Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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