If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
