The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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