Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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