even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
