I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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