Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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