I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
