I haven't been this sober since birth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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