scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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