I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
