My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
