WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
