oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
