Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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