I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
