you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
