The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
