I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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