That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
