ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
