Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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