arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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