she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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