apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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