I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
