I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
