Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
