somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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