O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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