How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize