Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
