Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
