remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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