yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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