i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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