Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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