I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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