My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
