ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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