HIV tests are more positive than that guy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
