that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
