no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
