she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
