i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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