You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
