so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
