the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Let's get the cat blown out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
