Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
